You could hear the bellowing throughout the grocery store. The sound of a child screaming at the top of his lungs and oh what good lungs he had. With every step that I made the bawling got closer. As luck would have it we ended up in the same aisle.
There he was, the culprit, perched in a shopping basket screaming his little head off. The little boy looked to be about 3 years old. He had silky jet black curls flowing around his face and not a tear in his eyes. Some people passing by gave the side eye, while others just down right glared.
The mother, bless her heart, was as red as a beet. You could clearly see she’d had enough but was doing absolutely nothing to de-escalate the situation.
What would you do at times like this? Do you let the child continue to wail at the top of his lungs, disturbing everyone in the store including you? Or do you, as the parent, take control of the situation?
Parents today…
Too often today we see parents relinquishing control to the child. Letting them do anything that they want to in the name of “modern culture.” And instead of raising law abiding, respectable adults we’re raising a generation with entitlement issues. A generation of me and mine instead of, are you alright or how can I help.
Children are a product of their environment and if you don’t train your child it will show and almost always once you get in public.
Is there a special skill you need as a parent? No…what you need as a parent is to teach your child the “D” word…discipline.
What is Discipline…
Discipline is training that corrects, molds or perfects. It’s training by instruction to behave in a way that’s proper and responsible. It’s training to follow rules. In life there are going to be rules, whether at home or in public. And if your child is not trained to follow rules at home, he/she’s not going to follow them in public and there’s going to be consequences.
Lack of Discipline…
If a child is not disciplined it will show. It comes out in many different ways. Here’s just a few…
- Bad attitude
- Irresponsible
- Problems at school
- Disruptive
- No respect for authority
All results of not being disciplined or having structure. The Lord instructs us in Proverbs 22:6 to train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. He tells us not to withhold correction. If we listen and as parents instruct and guide our kids, they will be the better for it.
Discipline is not Punishment…
You’re not punishing your child when you discipline him/her. There is a difference and you as a parent should know that.
With discipline your child will understand their own behavior better, show independence, and respect themselves and others.
You can actually start disciplining your little ones at around six months old. Believe it or not they generally start to understand then. You can start setting a few limits and boundaries for them. Your communication and interaction with your child will teach them the way and teach them structure. Disciplining is about teaching and guidance which can and should start in infancy’s earliest stages.
Punishment is different and can be done in two ways. It can be physical as in spanking or taking away a privilege or psychological, as in time-out. It’s usually done as a last result for something reprehensible. You as the parent make the call.
Setting limits is a critical part of your responsibility as a parent says Clair Lerner, LCSW, Director of Parenting Resources at Zero to Three, in Washington D.C.
She says, you’re helping your child to understand right from wrong, to follow rules, and to cope with frustration and disappointment. Your child and you will be the better for it.
Reward for Good Behavior…
Just like there are repercussions for bad behavior there should be some for good behavior. Reward your child when he/she does well and let them know how much you appreciate them. He/she will learn the difference and as they grow your role as a parent will get a lot easier. At least until he/she gets to be around 12 or 13. And as always show love and love will be returned unto you.
